The 55 Concepts: Self Help Article Series
By Michael Cavallaro
Conflict Resolution
Conflict and conflict resolution are often misunderstood. Many people fear conflict and therefore never get to the essence of what conflict resolution is all about. Conflict is when something occurs between you and something or someone else. Conflict resolution is the management of this event. True conflict resolution comes from resolving the conflicts within you. Resolving the conflicts within you is the only real solution to permanent conflict resolution.
When there is conflict between you something or someone else this is due to the fact that internally you are conflicted in some way. This conflict may be about the particular subject or just about you being a right or wrong person. Being a right or wrong person is the display of your own inner not being good enough belief system. With the not good enough belief system a person usually views themselves and others as right or wrong.
True Happiness
The only way to true and lasting happiness is to discover the truth that lies in your own heart. This truth is what your spirit or soul has come to experience. Often times this can be quite different than all the things you're brought up to believe will create happiness. It can be quite different than everything you thought you were supposed to be. You might have a good job, a family, and secure position in life but still feel empty. You might blame it on your spouse, your children or your job. But this emptiness has nothing to do with anything outside of you. This emptiness is because you are not in touch with you.
From this perspective a person generally will have difficulties and it made think that they were wrong or in accurate about something that they had done or said. They will also do their best to prove the other person is wrong so that they may feel right. Feeling right they temporarily avoid their not good enough belief system.Another factor in conflict is the inability to unconditionally accept everyone and their opinions. Due to your own judgments, attitudes and beliefs you may find it quite difficult to agree or allow other people to have their own opinions. Another factor in conflict is the need to have someone agree with or understand you. In this case conflict generally occurs when someone else will not see, understand or agree with your point of view.
It should be mentioned here that this does not include situations where something must absolutely be done a certain way in order for it to be accomplished or work. These times though are relatively rare and yet it is common for people to have the opinion that their way is the only way. It is suggested that every time you have a disagreement or conflict that you look at everything concerning the situation and determine if there is even a remote possibility that there could be another way. This tool alone will allow you to resolve conflicts simply and quickly.
Three factors that cause conflict between people:1. The desire to have others understand or agree with you
2. Differing points of view
3. The desire or need to control
‘Without these factors, there would never be conflict between people.’
Conflicts can only be resolved by:1. Agreeing to disagreePermanent conflict resolution can only be achieved by:
2. Giving up your point of view
3. Coming to terms that are mutually agreeable
1. Resolving conflicting type beliefs systems
Some people say that conflict is necessary or normal. This is a limiting point of view. Yes, conflict often happens but this only makes it common not normal. Because something is common it is often assumed as the way it is supposed to be. This too is a limiting point of view. Something being common or often done only means that there has not been enough effort put into the expanding your consciousness and seeking other answers or ways to accomplish the same thing.
© Michael Cavallaro 2010
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