The 55 Concepts: Self Help Article Series
by: Michael Cavallaro
Personal Responsibility
Personal responsibility is something many people would like to avoid on some level. Often they blame others for their problems and want others to solve the problems instead of solving them themselves.
You may spend your life trying to manipulate, beg, or threaten others to do what you want, but since you can only change yourself nothing really changes. You may be able to manipulate a situation the way you want it to be at that particular moment but there are always new situations and it becomes a never ending task. Trying to change others keeps you trapped and blocked from experiencing any joy and freedom you may seeking. Many people stay in this trap their whole life.
You might also see taking responsibility as taking the blame. Being responsible may bring up issues from childhood when you were told to 'be responsible.' When you were told to be responsible as a child it was usually by an authority that wanted you to do something.
There are two main problems with this situation. The first is that taking the blame means that you have already judged what is being done as wrong and you do not want to own it because that will mean that you were wrong. The second is that you are resisting "authority" and don't want to do what somebody tells you should do. Doing this puts you in a victim or an oppositional position. In either case - you lose. From the victim position you are not empowered enough to change so therefore things won't change. From an oppositional position you are refusing to change simply because you are resisting and again nothing changes.
Personal responsibility means taking responsibility for everything that happens to you. It also means that in some way you have brought this situation, person or circumstance into your life for reasons that you may or may not understand. When you are willing to accept personal responsibility you can then ask the following questions of yourself.
Where am I responsible for this situation?
What can I do differently to change the current outcome?
What can I do differently so this doesn't happen this way again?
What can I learn from this?
What can I change about myself right now that will make a difference?
What could I change about how I see this situation? How could I see it differently?
If you can simply look at what is in your life as something that you have brought
to you, you then empower yourself. What you've brought into your life you can
change. You can change your situation or your attitude towards it. Only when
you take personal responsibility do you have the possibility of being free to
create something you want.
© Michael Cavallaro 2010